Meanwhile....

Genesis 37:34-36

34 Then Jacob tore his garments and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. 35 All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted and said, “No, I shall go down to Sheol to my son, mourning.” Thus his father wept for him. 36 Meanwhile the Midianites had sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard.

Our Senior pastor was back on Sunday after a four week break. I really didn't want to get up and go to church in fact we got in Jim's car and had to come back to the house because his tire was so low and we almost just gave it up and stayed home. But we switched cars and headed out a second time. I don't know why it surprised me, but it was worth it. God has blessed our pastor with the ability to present the stories we have heard for years in a way that becomes pertinent to our (or at least my) life today in 2009.

He started a series on Joseph, you know the guy with coat of many colors. I know this story inside and out, I've heard it a million times. I would say it is one of my favorite Bible stories. So how is it possible that Sunday morning it became a whole new story for me.

He started with examining the two hands of God...the hand of the miracles of God and the hand of God's providence. The providence of God -- His ability to work through any situation that we happen to get ourselves into. The providence of God provides a way... Joseph is arrogant and obviously his Father's favorite...jealous brothers take the future into their own hands... lies are presented to a heartbroken father...greed overwhelms... but meanwhile.... God's hand of Providence prepares the way.

These past few months I have been struggling. What am I doing with my life? Am I being a successful parent? How do I get my cheerleader back? In the words of Bob Hope to his wife of 69 years.. "What are you doing for the rest of your life?...the north and south and east and west of your life?" This is the question that is turning my comfortable life upside down.

I have been reading, searching, questioning, praying, crying, running, eating, hoping for an answer or some guidance...the came Sunday.

God's hand of Providence... God his working through all the situations in which I find myself. There is not a path I take where He cannot lead. That even when I don't quite know what I'm doing he is ahead of me preparing the way. Maybe I just have to push on through these crazy moments to find the light...so to speak.

So, I don't find the struggle completely over, I still seem to find myself in a new search for something, I still feel a little off balance and somewhat crazy, but I press on looking forward to the next part of God's providence in my life. I know that as I do my part to travel this road with as much eloquence as possible that there is a way through...God goes before me...Meanwhile...